4 P's To Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

Mark 10:6-9 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave behind his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and cleave closely to her permanently. And the two shall become one flesh. What therefore God has united (joined together), let not man separate or divide.

    Many people think that they just automatically know how to go through a healthy relationship, especially when it comes to marriage. Now although I have never been married, I can assure you that no marriage is any different from the next. That being said, there are certain things that you can, and must do in order to maintain a healthy running relationship. If done properly, these things can take the direction of your relationship from looking down to looking up, or can be just what the doctor ordered to take the relationship to the next level.
   
    The first “P” we shall cover is patience. Everyone knows that it takes a great deal of patience to deal with anything new, and when you are talking about coming together as one you are talking about something brand new. There will be things that you thought you knew about your significant other that will come out and utterly shock you. Many people say that you don’t know someone until you have lived with them, but let’s face it even when you move in together there are some things that are revealed that you would have never known. Patience comes in handy when dealing with this sort of thing, and when you are dealing with a couple where one persons faith may not be on the same level it is mandatory. You will never know what is going to come until it officially comes, and there is no way that you will be able to deal with it unless you are walking together. Romans 5:3-4 speak about how we should glory in tribulation because tribulation brings about patience and patience, experience and experience, hope. Basically what this means is that you go through the hard times to build up a tolerance for them which births patience. When you get through that certain trial and obtain patience from it, you also gain experience through it that causes you to become closer. Then automatically hope is added to you because you have the ability to fight through another battle together, which inevitably will bring you closer.
    The next “P” is for praise. This is something that you may not see very often when it comes to adults but is very necessary. When anyone is doing something well, they deserve an acknowledgement from the people that truly care. For example, ladies you have no idea that power that you have when it comes to your man. Even when it is something as simple as, “Baby, I really love the way you carry the groceries for me!”. That man will have a glow in his eyes and I promise he will fall in love with you all over again. Also, we understand that it is not a woman’s “place” to clean the house, but gentlemen if you are blessed with a woman that does take care of home it would not hurt to show her and give her thanks. What better way to show that than to help her out, so that she doesn’t have to all the time! Even if it is just doing something small so she can have an extra few minutes to relax, this will go a long way and trust me women don’t forget those type of things.
    This also leads me to the next point, which doesn’t begin with a “P” but its appreciation. When you appreciate something, you tend to take extra special care of it and more than likely treat it as if it is the best thing in the world. Consider a home you purchase. When you initially purchased that home, there were some things that you really liked about it, and there were also some things you saw as far as potential for upgrades and add-ons. You of course start with the essentials like furniture, linens and things. Although you start to look into more room, a swimming pool, deck, etc. These things allow for the value to go up, or appreciate and cause for it to be worth more if you consider selling. (Which you would not in this case.) Now on the other hand, when it is not taken care of there is depreciation and not only does the house not look and feel like home, but I doubt you will want to stay there much longer either. The same things go for a marital relationship. You must add and upgrade the thing you started with in order for it to work for you. Very rarely can something stay the same, and people feel the same way about it. So that means for you brothers, start regularly surprising your mate with a meal cooked especially for her. Give a special night just for her as frequent as possible, where you do nothing but cater to her. Do everything from cooking and cleaning to running her bath and taking care of the children. Send her flowers on a whim, with a note as if you are just falling in love with her for the first time and I assure you that she will do the same. It also says in Ephesians 5:25 for HUSBANDS to love YOUR wives, even as Christ also loved the church. It was written this way for a reason, and not otherwise. Women are made to take what they are given and multiply it. It is not a coincidence that a woman was made the way she is physically, she was birthed to receive. Also, as I stated before women were blessed with this ability to say things in a way that works directly with a man’s ego. I am not condoning that any man be egotistical, but every man has one and for him to feel like that much more of a man, it wouldn’t hurt for you to play on it every now and again. When a woman tells a man how good he is, even when he is not living up to it fully you will see a transformation right before your eyes of a man who desires to not allow those words you spoke go unfulfilled. He will do it because you think of him as a great man, and he will then become that great man because of you.
    Next is a “privilege”. You and everyone around should see it as a privilege to have what you have. You should hold your significant other to a higher standard. One that says without speaking that you indeed have the best thing in the world. It will not be easy for one, because there will be times that you will not feel like being that way towards them because of the irritating thing he/she did right before you left the house. Needless to say, nobody should see you disagreeing with each other. You should of course handle your disputes quietly and in private. Most importantly, when people see you whether you are with you spouse or alone they should still get the feeling that you have something special. The only way that someone else can notice you have something special is that it be evident at all times. You should not make the mistake of talking about your spouse to anyone else because in the end it will come back to stab you in the back. Examples would be discussing disputes with friends, or talking down on your lover when they are not there to defend themselves. That is not how God intended you run a relationship, and if something goes wrong from there, you can only blame yourself for not being more responsible.
    There are many other keys that will make sure that your relationship runs smoothly, such as communication, making love often, basing a friendship first, etc. Although, doing the things listed here will ensure that everyone is happy, and the flame that started will not go out but it will grow intensely the more you practice it. Remember, these things were meant to fuel a marital relationship, and if practiced any other way it will seem ok but it will not work in the end because that is not the way God intended.

Peace and Much Love!